20 constructive ways to gain back control of life

(20 constructive ways to gain back control of life)

Sometimes it just feels that life is slipping away from our hands and we aren’t able to do anything about it. We feel that we are losing control over the direction in which our life is going, we also feel that we might end up staying like this till the end of life.

How do we get over this feeling? How do we pull ourselves out of the circle of beliefs that make us feel unworthy and unhappy?

The good thing is that we are just one step away from living the life of our dreams. Our life starts to change the moment we decide that it should.

We always focus on the distant point, the place where we want to be. We see the goal, we see the whole staircase, but what we need to focus on is just the step ahead of us. That’s it.

We do have to keep in mind the place where this staircase should lead us, but the focus should be on how we can move ahead from where we were yesterday.

The problem with all of us is that we have allowed others to decide things for us, especially the things that should have been under our control.

We need to understand that when bad things happen to us or when anything happens to us, it is us who are responsible for our own lives.

We cannot blame one another, we have no time to regret it. It’s better that we stop letting others get involved in things that are eventually our responsibility.

Here’s a list of 20 constructive ways to gain back control of your life:

1. Start taking responsibility for your life:

To gain back control of your life, you first need to know that your life is 100% your responsibility. If you keep letting others make decisions for you, or if you are always going to stick to the opinions that others have about you, you are never going to get what you want.

gain back control of  life

People do influence us, it is a human tendency to compare ourselves with everyone around us because that’s how some of us have been measuring success. Getting influenced for good and letting other people decide for you are two different things.

2. Take out time for yourself and the things that you love:

Give time to yourself, do things that you love. Take up a new hobby or just restart something you lost touch with. Do whatever makes you happy, just make sure that you are saving up time for yourself from all of this busy schedule.

gain back control of  life

You need to be in peace with yourself first, know what you expect from life. Sit with your own thoughts, listen to where your heart wants to go, take steps that make you feel good.

3. Write down your vision of a perfect life:

If you want to improve your life, you first have to know what kind of life you are expecting. Write down your visions on a piece of paper or in your diary.

List down everything that you wish to have in the future, what you want to become when you grow up, or what kind of person you look forward to becoming in the future.

gain back control of  life

When you know where you want to go, you automatically start imagining yourself in that position and then you do push yourself to work towards it.

4. Take care of yourself:

Just as you would treat a guest or someone who is close to you, give yourself the same love and care. Don’t hesitate to do things for your own happiness or for your own wellness. This is the best thing you can ever do to yourself.

Also read: The 10 best ways to be an authentic version of yourself

gain back control of  life

When you start understanding how important you are, things begin to take a positive turn. Now, you understand your value, you know your worth and that is just going to help you rise higher because you now acknowledge your standards and things that are good for you.

5. Learn to say ‘no’:

You don’t have to say no to bring someone else down or hurt anybody, you are saying no for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for not doing things or not being someone that others expect you to be.

Also read: 6 effective ways to not be a people pleaser

gain back control of  life

The more you make yourself available for someone the more they will expect things from you. Help other people when you’re able to, when you know that it isn’t going to harm you in any way.

6. Gain control over how you spend your days:

To start having control over your life, you have to have control over your days, first. Schedule your days accordingly, make sure that you include your ‘me’ time in that list, and follow all of it for the rest of your day.

These are the small steps that you have to take in order to slowly bring your life back on track. Scheduling your day helps you a lot, it prevents you from wasting your time thinking about what you have to do next.

gain back control of  life

You simply go about wandering what you should do and in spite of doing anything, you either end up scrolling social media or taking a nap. When you know that you have a list of work lined up, you force yourself to accomplish those goals.

7. Starve your distractions:

We all are surrounded by numerous things that are always ready to distract us from our goals. We can’t just magically vanish all those things, all we can do is control ourselves.

Also read: Warning: 10 proven signs you are destroying your future

gain back control of  life

Whenever you find yourself doing something that will take you away from your goal, know that it’s time to reflect. Sit back and give a thought to what path you’ve been going on, stop yourself then and there and work towards your goal.

Even very small things such as checking your phone in between work, or taking up unnecessary calls can distract you and lead to a lack of concentration.

8. Learn time management:

Time management is crucial to have control over your life. Strictly prohibit yourself from spending your time and energy on things and people that aren’t going to serve you any benefit in the future.

Also read: 20 mandatory skills to learn while you are adulting

gain back control of  life

It might seem tempting now but it is going to later put you into regret. Your time is your greatest asset, how you use it will eventually decide where you reach.

9. Set your priorities:

You cannot be available for everything and everyone around you and that’s why you have decided who and on what you want to spend your energy on.

This is going to prevent you from exhausting your energy on useless things and instead, putting it on things that will really help you to move forward in life.

10. Start making better choices:

We all make mistakes and that’s okay because we never actually stop learning. We all have it in us, the ability to analyze things more logically, but most of us end up messing by making decisions without giving it any thought.

We need to start thinking more about what decisions we make and what impact these decisions are going to have on us. Stop making decisions simply in the air and take responsibility for your own actions.

11. Catch up with people who are above you:

There will always be someone who will be better than you in something or the other, someone who has gone through a lot and have more experience than you.

gain back control of  life

You simply cannot go about making mistakes in order to gain experience, we don’t have that much time. Learn from other people’s experiences, learn from their journey. Be with people who are above you and aspire to be like them.

12. Become independent:

Independence is the ultimate power. Very few of us can actually gain complete independence over our thoughts and our actions.

We all need to isolate our choices from the ones that other people make around us in order to be true to ourselves and make decisions that are actually rational.

It’s not just from the thoughts that we have to be independent but from all that we do. Make yourself your own helping hand, but don’t hesitate to ask for help when you really need it.

13. Conquer your fears:

It’s not easy, and the thought of conquering one’s fears is scarier than the fear itself. Everyone has something that scares them or pulls them back from their goals.

It might be the fear of standing up for yourself or revealing your true identity because of what others will say about you. Or the fear of chasing your dreams because you might think that your parents are going to get hurt or something like that.

gain back control of  life

But listen to me, if you are meant to be where you want to, every bad thing will stand in support of you once you get there, it is all going to just work out for you. Don’t let temporary things scare you from moving towards your dreams.

14. Enjoy life:

Life’s not only about suffering to reach your goals, it is equally about enjoying the journey, the little things that make your life special. Don’t forget to enjoy it, everything has to be balanced in life in order to get the best out of it.

15. Don’t waste more time waiting for the right moment:

There is no wrong time for doing the right things. Don’t wait for tomorrow or the next hour, just start it right away. Most people wait half of their life to simply start working towards their goal. Once you get started, there is no coming back.

16. Take time to analyze:

As again, analyze everything. Make rational decisions.

17. Trust yourself:

You know where you are going, you know what is good for you and what is going to help you in the future. Trust your intuitions, trust your judgments and just go for it.

gain back control of  life

18. Stop putting limitations to yourself:

The only limitation we have is our mind. There is nothing outside your mind that can stop you from achieving things, it is just your mind that will set unnecessary limits and prevent you from going where you want to go.

19. Practice emotional intelligence:

You should learn the skill of emotional intelligence in order to make better decisions. Most of how your life turns out to be is because of the decisions that you make. You can’t let your emotions win every damn time, you have to start making logical decisions.

gain back control of  life

20. Keep a journal:

A journal is important to see how far you have reached, to motivate you to work harder, and to know where you’ve been wrong. It is not important to do journaling daily, you can also do it weekly.

You can write all the things that you have achieved over a week or mistakes that you made over a week or the lessons that you have learned. What I will suggest is to do it daily because then you really don’t have to remember stuff after you put it on the pages.


To actually first gain control over your life, you first have to decide that you don’t want to be at the same place, that you wish to grow and become better.

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